so yesh, obviously i'm still stuck here in melbourne, wearing between 1-3 layers of clothes daily (depending on the extremely unpredictable weather), and in general, continuing to freeze my ass (and legs - they feel numb!!) off in the ice block i call my room (apparently the temperature in my room is always a few degrees lower than the outside temperature).
after months of holidaying and basically being the lazy piggy that i am, it has finally come to my attention that i'm running out of time and am on a tight schedule. hmm... why does this scenario sound so familiar?? *deja vu-ed for a while* oooo!! cos it's the same scenario that has been playing over and over again throughout my academic life of 17 years!!*note to self: if i added my years of informal preschool education into my
academic lifespan, i will have reached a grand old age of 20 years by now!!
gasp!!!*
so yesh, here i am panicking myself to death again and regretting my early days of gluttony, procrastination, couch potato-ing and general inactivity. of cos panicking doesn't help the situation much, and is not constructive at all. hence, i decided to start blogging again, in the hope of venting my panics through writing rubbish. hmm... and it seems to work!! wahahahaha... though of course the more time i spend on blogging will mean less time spent on work... which will then lead to even greater levels of panic... thus forcing me to blog even more... omg, the vicious vicious cycle. pui.p.s. the brownie is for anyone who is currently in deep shit due to his/her own actions and is wallowing in self-pity. anyone is allowed to contest for the right to the brownie, but must provide empirical evidence of his/her actions of stupidity which led to the current 'shit' situation.
i soooo deserve the brownie now. yum!
and yesh, once again i've risen out of my laziness and extended period of blogophobia in yet another attempt to blog regularly. wahahaha... *gives meself a pat on the back*
i have no idea how long this sudden whim to blog again will last and for those peeps who have given up waiting for new posts... surprise~!!! ahahaha.... then again, if u've given up waiting for new posts, u'll most likely not read this as this blog will probably have been filed in your brain under "dead blogs". haa~ so yesh, i shall just carry on my own ramblings for my own pleasure.
i can't figure out why i chose the previous skin of bright orange. it seems so disgustingly n irritatingly cheerful!!! wahahaha... makes me wanna slap myself for being so bright n cheery. so yeah!!! new skin!! i seem to change a skin whenever i emerge from my self-imposed blogophobia... haa~p.s. my bday is coming sooon~!!! hehehehe... it's nice to remind myself tt
i'll be a year closer to death. morbid, but kinda nice... =P
heh. i've decided to post random stuff.
i love crimson seedless grapes!! especially the grapes here! so sweet n cheap!
ahaha... i'm sooo not a fruity person, so to be able to find a fruit tt i like
is like miraculous!! wahaha... i feel so healthy everytime i eat them... the
brain keeps chanting over n over again: "anti-oxidants... anti-oxidants...
anti-oxidants..." hee... as such, i shall make it my official fruit!!! lalala...
the dynamics of alone time and social time is so amazing... interesting how i switch modes fr personal to public... hm... and it's good to know that i enjoy both! ahaha... though it's still difficult to include others in how i feel and my inner thoughts... somehow i seem to show only my "shallow" thought processes with others... n how can i hope for others to understand when i don't make an effort to try and make them understand? but then again, i like to keep my thoughts to myself. ahaha...
everyone around me seems to be going through some rough patches in their life... is this the difficult 20s transition period? it's so difficult to maintain a good balance in life... especially between the work and love lives... there seem to be so much to be sad and disappointed about. where did all the happiness go? is life full of disappointment or hope? though i always advocate hope, but i've never really thought about it. guess i don't really care!! ahaha... just live each day as it is and take things as they come! go with the flow...
matsomoto jun is soooo cuteee!!!! wahaha... my new idol~ heh... i also want a pet like him!!! then again... i want other pple to take care of me n feed me leh... heh. anyone wants a pet?? *wink*
hmm, people seem to be struggling with adulthood and politics of life... why are humans so devious and scheming? isn't life better when everyone is sincere and not hurting each other? isn't it weird how pple can't stand each other and all the personality quirks inherent in each individual? how difficult it is to maintain peace and yet have your desires fulfilled at the same time. life may not be a fairytale, but it doesn't have to be a nightmare as well. but why do some pple get stuck in depressing situations and not have the strength to pull themselves out of it? will i be able to pull myself out if something depressing happens and threaten to engulf me too? so much to think about when u become an adult... makes me kinda miss the days when we were carefree children without a care in the world (except maybe passing exams)
i want to layer my hair again~!!!
the ego is a difficult thing to maintain. too big and u're arrogant. too small and u're inferior. how troublesome.
i put my first nose mask today! which was supposed to remove blackheads n impurities, but was really like the liquid version of biore porepack. n my first full face mask!! ahaha... after several inspirations fr zinc... it's supposed to be an ultra-microscopic pore and hydrating moisturiser thingy... which was quite refreshing (cos it's v v wet and the cool weather made my face v v cold... ahaha). unfortunately i happily got into a frying fish situation, which totally cancelled off the effects of my revitalising face mask. well done jojo!
macbeth n pancake on the rocks tmr~!! wooHoo~!!
i've never really understood the extent of my handicap in directions till these coupla days. i always knew that there was something wrong with my sense of direction, but i never knew that it had progressed to such a state of utter confusion. WOW. i actually feel amazed at my own "accomplishments".
of course, i've known that i was different from the rest of the world since i was in secondary school. initially, i put down the fact that i was unable to navigate the streets of orchard road to mere forgetfulness and lack of familiarity (since i was an infrequent visitor to that corner of singapore during my teenage years). then it started to show up more clearly when i would still find myself lost in orchard when i reached jc and have been frequenting far east plaza for quite some time. still, i hid my handicap as i figured i'll just have to walk longer distances than my fellow peers (after many wrong turns) before reaching the final destination. of course, it didn't help either that i can never get off on the right bus stop at unfamiliar places. it requires at least 3 journeys before i can accurately pin point the exact bus stop that i have to get off at. still, i figured i shall just walk more than others would have done (i reassured myself that walking is rumoured to be quite efficient in toning up my butt). then came the realization that even with clear directions, i still took a longer time than normal to arrive at a destination.
of course my handicap has since become more prominent and visible upon my move to melbourne. amazingly, it was my tourist friend (living in the US) who directed me around melbourne, even though i was the one who held the map! simple things like catching the right buses also proved to be a feat as i constantly mixed up the direction of buses. this is evident from the fact that i've got on the bus that was on the wrong side of the road twice these past two days, along the same bus route no less! this is good cause for shame and i really think i should get some help for my condition. an increase in recognition, memory, learning ability and topographical orientation is vital. i should start giving myself therapy.
there! i've admitted that i have a problem. according to psychiatrists, awareness and acknowledgement of problems are good starting points in a therapeutic relationship. well done jojo! there's definitely been a breakthrough today. i shall see you again at our usual time next week. in the meantime, try not to get too lost? prepare a map for all eventualities. goodbye.
p.s. amazingly, i have no problems navigating in a car!! apparently, i'm quite adequate in reading maps and giving the driver directions. hmm... interesting...
this has GOT to be the most idiotic conversation i've EVER had in my entire life. n it doesn't help that the other parties have extremely thick accents (countries of origin shall not be disclosed for fear of political uproar).
Legend: Me = Me
DA = Dumb Ass
DAE = Dumbest Ass Ever
Me: Hi, i'm calling to do a transfer of ownership for my internet line.
DA: Can I have you username please?
Me: Username?
DA: The same one you use to log in to your email?
Me: Erm, unfortunately I don't remember my username (shit). Is there any other way I can access my account?
DA: I'll need your address then.
Me: (regurgitated my old address)
DA: Can I have the name that the account is under?
Me: Joanna Lim.
DA: Nope.
Me: (what the?) Erm, Lim Wanni Joanna?
DA: Nope. Is there another name?
Me: (who the hell is my account under?) *whispers in the background* Erm, XXXX (the name of the new tenants currently staying @ my old place)?
DA: Nope.
Me: (what the hell leh?) Can I give you my account number then? Will you be able to check using that?
DA: What's your account number?
Me: (*roll eyes* why couldn't you have asked for my account no. in the first place? dumb ass.) 12345678.
DA: Right, Joanna? I'll have to transfer you to our internet department, you'll have to re-introduce yourself again.
Me: (what the???!!!! then you ask for so many details for what?! DUMB ASS!) Oh. Fineeee......
----------- Call transferred ------------
DAE: Hello, how may I help you?
Me: Hi, I'm calling for a transfer of ownership for my internet line?
DAE: Can I have your account number please?
Me: (FINALLY!! an operator that seems to have a brain) 12345678.
DAE: Right, do you have a contract with us?
Me: (Isn't that supposed to show up on your computer screen?) Yes.
DAE: And is that cable broadband or ADSL?
Me: (Isn't that ALSO supposed to show up on your computer screen?) It's a cable.
DAE: Ok, I'm going to have to transfer you to our CABLE internet department and you'll have to re-introduce yourself there ok?
Me: (whaaat thheee??!!! best liao lor. i'm speechless.) oh, fiinneeee...
DAE: Why don't I give you their direct line in case you have to call them later?
Me: That'll be great *copying down number*, thanks!
DAE: Ok, so you'll have to call them one and a half hours later.
Me: (huh? Didn't you just say you're gonna transfer me over?) Erm, why do I have to wait for one and a half hours?
DAE: Because their operating hours are from 8am to 7pm on Mondays to Saturdays, and they don't work on Sundays.
Me: (You're totally not making sense dude.) But today is Tuesday, and it's 12pm now. Why do I have to wait for one and a half hours?
DAE: Because their operating hours are from 8am to 7pm on Mondays to Saturdays, and they don't work on Sundays.
Me: (DUMBEST ASS EVER!!) Yeeaahhh, and it's Tuesday afternoon, so they should be working??!!! What? You mean it's lunch hour now or what?
DAE: Their operating hours are from 8am to 7pm on Mondays to Saturdays, and they don't work on Sundays.
Me: (Did I say I was speechless just now? Now I'm totally MUTE.) FINE. I'll just call them myself.
DAE: *silence*
Me: Hello??
DAE: *silence*
Me: Heeellllooooo???!!!!!
DAE: *silence*
Me: (ASS!!!! @#$%^&*@#$%^&*~!!!!!!!) *slam down phone*
What's more to be said? I give you the Aussie telephone customer service.
not been very happy, but what's there to be unhappy about? not very satisfied, but what's there to be dissatisfied about? feeling lethargic, but what's there to be tired about? not smiling as much, but what's there to frown about? feeling irritated frequently, but what's there to be irritated about?
if i were to look back at this 10 years from now, it would probably be my greatest learning experience ever. to be able to delve into your true self, past the emotions on the surface is probably the best knowledge in the world. throughout this journey, i probably won't even know why i'm feeling what i'm feeling till the adventure ends and i emerge stronger than before. knowing the self is probably the greatest gift that i can bestow upon me. so many things flashes through the mind as i take long walks to and from school. i can't even begin to put these thoughts into words. maybe i'm thinking too much, but this is definitely a self-reflective period of my life. although i'm pretty much consistent in my own being, deviations from this ideal self occurs now and again. learning when and why these deviations take place will probably make me a more cemented and grounded person.
already there are certain breakthroughs that have occurred, though i am finding out each day that i may not be what i always think i am. there are always certain decisions to be made, certain risks to be undertaken. can i guarantee 100% success? the answer is obviously no. but why take these risks then? so that i can learn from my mistakes even when i fail and when these risks surface again, may they turn into exciting challenges instead. projects that i embark on eagerly, instead of scary dilemmas that increase my self-consciousness. i can feel my self-consciousness decreasing as the years go by, but it still lurks behind the corner, waiting to jump out when i least expect it.
what the hell did i just type? i have no idea. and i'm pretty sure that you have no idea too. like i said, it's impossible to put down in the words my thoughts and feelings. how can anyone understand me when i don't even understand myself at times?
yay!!! i'm back on the keyboard~!! ahaha... damn sian lor... just come back aussieland n me falls sick... so dumb! like who ever falls sick in summer?! i blame it all on the aussie weather... HATE the weather here. hai. but, u guys will be glad to know tt jojo is currently on the mend and besides some residual coughing, am as strong as an ox!! ahaha... k la, ox is a bit exaggerating.
nway, how's life been since i came back? boring boring boring... am totally slacking my ass off lor... i can't believe how slack i am. summary of the activities on an average day:
11-12pm: good afternoon jojo!
12-1pm: brunch
1-7pm: unless i go out, it's pretty much watching dramas, movies, msning, sleeping, snacking, internet surfing (basically anything i can do on my lappie la)
7-8pm: dinner maybe, unless i'm too full from snacking. ahaha...
8-3am: look @ 1-7pm time slot
omg!!! i soooo sound like a pig! wahaha... oinnk~!! k la... i still go to sch ah... but not my fault tt sch only takes up 3 mornings rite!! ahaha... oh ya! steven dropped by over the past week (yesh xj, OUR steven. ahaha...) n cos of him, i finally got to see cheryl~!!! wooHoo~!! ahaha... had fun bringing him ard to the aquarium n zoo... n realising wat a lousy tour guide i am. unsurprisingly, i kept getting us lost!! even with a map in my hands. hai. fortunately steven was there to save the day~!! ahaha... he gets us UN-lost every single time. n he's supposed to be the tourist!!! hai... can2 kui4 lor... i shall start reading more maps.
n last night was the moomba waterfest~!! this annual event tt features a huge funfair, starlight cinema, food n fireeeeeworks~!! omg i LOVE their fireworks lor... much nicer than sg one... oh n did i mention tt i sat in a ride, with a full stomach? kids, pls never ever try this @ home. i almost wanted to puke by the end of the ride, plus i was dizzying away~!! hai, shld work on my vestibular system more.
n finally, to all the shi1 lian4 pple out there... pls dun be too sad... guys are not worth it!! i know this sounds crappy coming fr someone who hasn't shi lian-ed before la, but still, seeing u all hurt makes me hurt too!! no more hurting k!! must continue to be my happy jie meis!! altho i'm not there physically, but i'm always there electronically!! i will lend you my eyes!! jiayou~!!
n yay!!! revamped again!!! ahaha... obviously i shall start my periodic blogging once again before slacking off halfway... heh. welcome back again jojo!! =D
{♥} audrey
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{♥} kay sing
{♥} liting
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{♥} angelineee
{♥} germaine
{♥} friend
{♥} you khai
{♥} dor
{♥} athena
{♥} nikki
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