this has GOT to be the most idiotic conversation i've EVER had in my entire life. n it doesn't help that the other parties have extremely thick accents (countries of origin shall not be disclosed for fear of political uproar).
Legend: Me = Me
DA = Dumb Ass
DAE = Dumbest Ass Ever
Me: Hi, i'm calling to do a transfer of ownership for my internet line.
DA: Can I have you username please?
Me: Username?
DA: The same one you use to log in to your email?
Me: Erm, unfortunately I don't remember my username (shit). Is there any other way I can access my account?
DA: I'll need your address then.
Me: (regurgitated my old address)
DA: Can I have the name that the account is under?
Me: Joanna Lim.
DA: Nope.
Me: (what the?) Erm, Lim Wanni Joanna?
DA: Nope. Is there another name?
Me: (who the hell is my account under?) *whispers in the background* Erm, XXXX (the name of the new tenants currently staying @ my old place)?
DA: Nope.
Me: (what the hell leh?) Can I give you my account number then? Will you be able to check using that?
DA: What's your account number?
Me: (*roll eyes* why couldn't you have asked for my account no. in the first place? dumb ass.) 12345678.
DA: Right, Joanna? I'll have to transfer you to our internet department, you'll have to re-introduce yourself again.
Me: (what the???!!!! then you ask for so many details for what?! DUMB ASS!) Oh. Fineeee......
----------- Call transferred ------------
DAE: Hello, how may I help you?
Me: Hi, I'm calling for a transfer of ownership for my internet line?
DAE: Can I have your account number please?
Me: (FINALLY!! an operator that seems to have a brain) 12345678.
DAE: Right, do you have a contract with us?
Me: (Isn't that supposed to show up on your computer screen?) Yes.
DAE: And is that cable broadband or ADSL?
Me: (Isn't that ALSO supposed to show up on your computer screen?) It's a cable.
DAE: Ok, I'm going to have to transfer you to our CABLE internet department and you'll have to re-introduce yourself there ok?
Me: (whaaat thheee??!!! best liao lor. i'm speechless.) oh, fiinneeee...
DAE: Why don't I give you their direct line in case you have to call them later?
Me: That'll be great *copying down number*, thanks!
DAE: Ok, so you'll have to call them one and a half hours later.
Me: (huh? Didn't you just say you're gonna transfer me over?) Erm, why do I have to wait for one and a half hours?
DAE: Because their operating hours are from 8am to 7pm on Mondays to Saturdays, and they don't work on Sundays.
Me: (You're totally not making sense dude.) But today is Tuesday, and it's 12pm now. Why do I have to wait for one and a half hours?
DAE: Because their operating hours are from 8am to 7pm on Mondays to Saturdays, and they don't work on Sundays.
Me: (DUMBEST ASS EVER!!) Yeeaahhh, and it's Tuesday afternoon, so they should be working??!!! What? You mean it's lunch hour now or what?
DAE: Their operating hours are from 8am to 7pm on Mondays to Saturdays, and they don't work on Sundays.
Me: (Did I say I was speechless just now? Now I'm totally MUTE.) FINE. I'll just call them myself.
DAE: *silence*
Me: Hello??
DAE: *silence*
Me: Heeellllooooo???!!!!!
DAE: *silence*
Me: (ASS!!!! @#$%^&*@#$%^&*~!!!!!!!) *slam down phone*
What's more to be said? I give you the Aussie telephone customer service.
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