not been very happy, but what's there to be unhappy about? not very satisfied, but what's there to be dissatisfied about? feeling lethargic, but what's there to be tired about? not smiling as much, but what's there to frown about? feeling irritated frequently, but what's there to be irritated about?
if i were to look back at this 10 years from now, it would probably be my greatest learning experience ever. to be able to delve into your true self, past the emotions on the surface is probably the best knowledge in the world. throughout this journey, i probably won't even know why i'm feeling what i'm feeling till the adventure ends and i emerge stronger than before. knowing the self is probably the greatest gift that i can bestow upon me. so many things flashes through the mind as i take long walks to and from school. i can't even begin to put these thoughts into words. maybe i'm thinking too much, but this is definitely a self-reflective period of my life. although i'm pretty much consistent in my own being, deviations from this ideal self occurs now and again. learning when and why these deviations take place will probably make me a more cemented and grounded person.
already there are certain breakthroughs that have occurred, though i am finding out each day that i may not be what i always think i am. there are always certain decisions to be made, certain risks to be undertaken. can i guarantee 100% success? the answer is obviously no. but why take these risks then? so that i can learn from my mistakes even when i fail and when these risks surface again, may they turn into exciting challenges instead. projects that i embark on eagerly, instead of scary dilemmas that increase my self-consciousness. i can feel my self-consciousness decreasing as the years go by, but it still lurks behind the corner, waiting to jump out when i least expect it.
what the hell did i just type? i have no idea. and i'm pretty sure that you have no idea too. like i said, it's impossible to put down in the words my thoughts and feelings. how can anyone understand me when i don't even understand myself at times?
{♥} audrey
{♥} huixin
{♥} jiahui
{♥} kay sing
{♥} liting
{♥} regina
{♥} gerald t
{♥} angelineee
{♥} germaine
{♥} friend
{♥} you khai
{♥} dor
{♥} athena
{♥} nikki
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